as long as it's not killing me

running water everywhere. everything's melting, and maybe it's a false spring but it's still spring-like and i am wearing a dress and ballet flats today. it will definitely be spring in california on friday (while weather.com forecasts wintry mix this weekend for you suckers staying in the northeast).

disoriented, exhausted, driven along by strange momentum...this morning has felt surreal and i keep trying to knock myself out of this state with drinks of water and walks outside (where everything's fresh and streaming along!) but in the end i'm back at the computer with three documents open and about a million books on the table. if i'm in shock right now, it's at least in part because these last several days of never-not-working have felt almost natural, like things make some sense: i think i know what i'm doing and the only hitch is to just keep doing it.
taken up residence in the study room. everything now depends on my body. i didn't wake up for class this morning and felt like a complete fool. especially since that class is a welcome relief from everything else. i was bowled over by Thelma & Louise, which might sound naive but it's a goddamn powerful movie.

and so this post is nothing more than a wave to the outside world, a need i'm feeling to communicate.